cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
