I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize