I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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