On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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