yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
