Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
