it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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