About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
