He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
