I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
