so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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