theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Vodka?
Forever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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