he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
