WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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