And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
