i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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