brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it glows. i had to have it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
