omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
