Im at strip club and am horny
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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