There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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