were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
someone owes me an orgasm
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
