So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize