I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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