she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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