My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
