Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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