I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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