I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
BRING THE BAGELS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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