Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
do herpes really smell.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
