I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
