who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
