I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
