i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
