I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
