Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
