Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
