i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize