By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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