so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
