Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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