so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
