News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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