I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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