idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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