Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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