he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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