It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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