There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
