How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
is it fun? or sober?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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