you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
