Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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