im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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