As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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