Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
