this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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