Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize