As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
