another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i think i just lost a toe
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