if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
3 2 1 whiskey
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
