I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
