his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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