spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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