12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I met the friendliest cop last night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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